Today is the last day of joy for my blog. However, I plan on making this part of my resolution for the new year. I want to be able to carry this joy into every day. I hope that it will change my views of life. I think of how some people might respond to this blog, if they read it... they might think I'm fake or a goody goody and it makes me not want to write. Then I remember it doesn't matter what they think. I'm not fake. These are my genuine feelings. If they think I am fake, they don't know me. I am a Christian. I may not shout it to the world every day, but I am. I make mistakes though. ALL THE TIME. And I try my best to not judge other people for their mistakes. This specific blog series is not a way for me to talk about myself, but really it's a way for me to try to better myself. I was sitting at my cousin's rehearsal dinner for his wedding and his soon to be bride was giving her bridal party their presents. For each girl, she told a little bit about them, how they had met, and what a treasure they were to her life. She continued to say what a positive influence these girls had been in her life... that when she would been down, she would look at said girl and see her as almost a pillar. A good influence. Someone to keep her going. Knowing the bride, you would never think she would need people to pick her up. She is one of the sweetest and happiest people I have ever met.
That got me thinking, would any of my friends say that about me? Was I a positive influence on them? Did I inspire them to be a better person? Highly doubtful! I complain, I'm negative, I have bad days, I do things I shouldn't... I am one of the last people that my friends would look to for inspiration. That was a wake up call to me. I want to be one of those people. I want to help people. I want to be positive. I know that I will never be one of those peppy people... that just isn't my personality, but I still want to be a good person. So, this is part of that change... I want to find joy in the unlikely. I want a daily reminder to be a better person. Make fun of me if you want or think I'm fake all day... it doesn't matter. I am attempting to better myself and my friends and family in return.... maybe you should consider the same.
So, on Christmas Day 2013... this is my last Joyful blog.
My biggest joy comes from God.
I grew up in the church. I went to a private, Christian school from kindergarten until I graduated from high school. I became a Christian when I was in first grade. God has been a daily part of my life for my entire life. When I left for college, I quit going to church. I was burned out. I know that is awful to say about a christian lifestyle, but I was. It was shoved down my throat on a daily basis. I was taught to think of EVERYTHING in terms of a Christian worldview. I needed a break. I never rebelled. I didn't go crazy. I didn't stop being a Christian or believing in God. I never tried another religion. I just could not bring myself to get involved in a church or religious organization.
Once I got well into college, my friends and I tried different churches and I found one I liked. I got involved in a campus, religious organization... which I loved. I met a lot of wonderful people.
I'm telling you this because even during the times I didn't go to church, God was with me. I felt Him with me. He watched over me. I never turned my back on Him, but I wasn't fully invested in my faith either. Yet, when I needed God the most, in a situation I knew I didn't have the emotional stability to pull myself out of, He got me through. We may not be the best followers in the world, but we are His children and He loves us more than we can fathom. God brings me joy because He is ALWAYS there. Even when we do something stupid, even when we can't feel Him... He is there! That safety net will never fail us. God is joy!
Merry Christmas!
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