Forgiveness

Forgive - is such as simple word.
It's one of the first concepts we learn as children. If a child can do it, shouldn't we be able to forgive easily as adults? I mean, we've had our whole lives to practice, right? So, why is it so hard to do?
When I talk about forgiveness, I don't mean forgiving someone for something small. We all get mad, we get offended... people accidentally say things that they don't really mean...those things are easy (easier) to forgive. I mean forgiveness on a much deeper level. When someone hurts you, deliberately... without an ounce of remorse. The kind of pain and hurt that cuts you to the core. Those times when you are never offered an apology... and you know you never will be offered one. How do you forgive someone who is not sorry?
Well, first off, I understand that you are not forgiving the person for their sake. They couldn't care less... and in most cases, probably don't feel like they did anything wrong. We forgive for ourselves. To be better people, to not harbor bitterness, to be happy. Those are all good reasons to forgive. We can rationalize forgiveness all day long, but it is still so hard to do.
I have been in several situations over the years where I have been so mad at someone, usually a friend, that I just can't seem to forgive them...until I forget what I am mad about. There are some people that I used to be inseparable with, but things happened, we grew apart... and whether it was intentional or not, my feelings were hurt. Even though that was a while ago, I still have some lingering bitterness. I'm not mad, I don't hate the person/people, but I am still kind of hurt.
Lately, I have been very convicted to forgive a few recent "hurts." People who I have an extreme amount of anger toward for the way they treated me and other people. I never want to be one of those people that wishes bad things on other people. & it scares me very much how angry I get when I see that these people are succeeding. That they are continuing to live a life where they hurt others... & I know they do because they don't know how to live otherwise.
I generally try not to think about those people. They don't deserve my thoughts. Especially because those thoughts hurt me, anger me, more than they would ever bother them. I don't want to be one of those people that holds onto these negative feelings. I don't want my life destroyed by the stupidity and lack of care other people have shown me. I want to forgive them. God wants me to forgive them, but right now... I'm at a loss of how to do that, completely.
I keep getting these "random" (or not so random) devotions that say to forgive those who hurt you or the pray for those same people. And I do. Sometimes, it is VERY hard, but I make myself. And then after I pray for them, I ask God to never let me be like them. That they would realize that they are actually harming and hurting themselves just as much or more than they are hurting other people. They will one day realize just how broken they are. How miserable. How much they need to ask for the forgiveness that they have unknowingly gotten from others.
I am a work in progress. I need a daily reminder to forgive. To turn the other cheek. To know that the pain those people caused me made me grow into a much stronger and better person. To those people, I will keep praying for you & I WILL forgive you.
I am writing this, not because I want everyone to know my struggles, but in hope that this will speed up my process of learning how to forgive. I am happy. Wonderful things are happening. & I want every ounce of my being to reflect what God is doing for me and my family and friends.
No ill will needed in my life. ;)

"Invoke blessings upon and pray for the happiness of those who curse you, implore God's blessing (favor) upon those who abuse you [who revile, reproach, disparage, and highhandedly misuse you]. To the one who strikes you on the jaw or cheek, offer the other jaw or cheek also; and from him who takes away your outer garment, do not withhold your undergarment as well." -Luke 6:28-29

"Lord, fix not this sin upon them [lat it not to their charge]!" -Acts 7:60a

PS If anyone is in the market for a good devotional, I would suggest one of Joyce Meyer's. They are very uplifting and give you a new perspective on things.

XO B